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[18 May 2012|10:52am]
DS! Angelic Pretty, In The StarlightCollapse )
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[01 Mar 2012|03:56pm]
DS! Anna House, Metamorphose, Angelic Pretty, Fanplus Friend, In The StarlightCollapse )
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moving! for real this time [20 Sep 2009|09:27pm]
If you like reading my gender entries then I invite you over to my new blog: cardprince. I've changed and grown a lot in the past few months and it's time for me to leave this persona behind...

Much love to everyone and maybe I'll see you over there :x
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moving, sorta [02 Apr 2009|05:32pm]
From now on I'll be posting all my gender/philosophy/sociobiology/whatever ramblings over here ~~>


As well as quotes and other things I like.

I might pop in and out of livejournal, I dunno, but I need a clean slate for my mind's sake :3

Peace ♥

EDIT: UM, JK. I wont be updating anywhere. Break from internets.

What is ‘a feminist’? // Gay Marriage [18 Mar 2009|08:22am]
I was having a short conversation with on another entry about Orlan with musouka_ningyou and I made the comment, ‘I don’t consider her feminist’ and then I thought-wait, what do I mean by this? What is Orlan not? What would make her ‘feminist’? Her actions, behaviors, philosophy? And who am I to decide who wants the title ‘feminist’ and what that title means? The only thing that ties ‘feminists’ together is the belief that the sexes should be equal politically, socially, and economically. Nothing less, nothing more. Making a statement like that is false…because it doesn’t matter what I think of her, it only matters what she thinks of herself [and as long as she believes in those three things].

In my own sense of twisted logic…you can be a feminist AND a misogynist, in the purest definitions of the words. Just because you hate women doesn’t necessarily mean you want to deny them rights. It seems natural for a misogynist to be anti-feminist, but I don’t believe that always has to be the case.

There are a lot of people I hate, organized groups even, but I would never fathom denying them anything. [Or let me put this another way, there are a lot of people I would LIKE to deny rights, but I know that’s a quick route to a dictatorship and that that’s not the best way to rule a free country]

Which brings me to gay marriage. A while ago I wanted to write about gay marriage on myspace, so I posted a bulletin asking everyone’s views. I asked the questions, ‘Do you think Gay Marriage should be legal? Do you think being gay is immoral? Does this affect your answer?’ [That’s not the exact wording, I’ve forgotten it, but it was close enough]. And most, if not all, of the responders said ‘yes’. That their opinions on homosexuality affected their political decision. But I don’t think it should at all! There are a lot of things I don’t “morally” agree with, but I would NEVER even imagine withholding rights. Which also asks the question, is marriage a privilege or a right? Since it’s CLEARLY not a right, why are we, the American people, politically creating a privileged class? It’s so illogical and completely not what America stands for. [Oh hell, I don’t even know what Americans are anymore, but I was under the impression we were a free people and a land of opportunity….BUT ONLY FOR SOME I GUESS] Religions can have their marriage, that’s fine. If a church wants to deny homosexuals the right to be married, then okay. I can hardly say anything against it because I’m not in that religion. But then why is the government involved at all? Whatever happened to a separation of church and state? And furthermore why are non-religious people being denied rights that religious people are gaining through marriage? I will never get married, because the institution/history/tradition is whacked to me, but I would like to get a civil union-except then I won’t get the same rights that someone who is married has. In essence this really isn’t discriminating against homosexuals, it’s discriminating against all of us who are non-religious or don’t believe in marriage. Are we then creating a privileged class for the religious? :o!! Fuck yeah, America…

Here’s some other miscellaneous things I’ve been milling over…

Racist ObservationsCollapse )

Anyway, I hope some of this made a blurb of sense, and comments and insight are always appreciated!
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omg. lets get some shoes [16 Mar 2009|09:21pm]
Normally I don't like small posts but this was too funny not to post...



You know, just curious.

Besides the silly descriptions, I love Steve Madden. Steve Madden is probably a gay man, but I would like to make love with him. Afterwards we can gossip and put glitter and rhinestones on our toenails.

Those shoes totally give me a girlboner.

Well damn, since I'm already writing here's some more items I've been drooling over

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the future! dun dun dun! [09 Mar 2009|07:36pm]
Today I went to go check out the place I'll be living at if I get accepted into Davis and not Berkeley. It's awesome!! Okay right now it's kind of a shit hole, but it's GOING TO BE awesome :] I already have plans for it...we're going to repaint the entire thing and fix it up hella. It's a house, so we can pretty much do whatever we want with it. I met the other two girls I'll be living with too [there's 4 or maybe 5 of us total] and they're cool enough. Except the place is technically owned by the crew team so we're 'required' to throw parties. Not exactly my cup of tea but I'll live. All the crew kids I've met are cool enough, but I highly doubt they'd be interested in sitting around analyzing gender, you know?? I'm not really into keggers and the like... Parties like that can be fun everyone once and a while but overall...not my scene :P

Still, it's cool that all of my roommates will be involved in some sort of social scene, I'm a bit of a hermit and it can be hard for me to make friends so that will be nice. I'm mainly just super lazy :[ Sometimes conversing with people can be exhausting [I'm definitely an introvert], and I need a lot of down time. Still, I want to work on my relationship skills with others because I kinda suck at the moment. Durrr, I just need to get out more. Bleh. I'm feeling fairly optimistic about this though. I'm looking forward to meeting like-minded people in my classes and such, so at least I will have that outlet. Ew I just read that, I really do sound like a hermit. ;_;

Also...I might be selling some lolita things. Lolita for me isn't an everyday thing, and I think I'll only continue to dress it for some sort of event or when I can go all out. And mainly, these clothes just make me feel like a fatass ;P

So...they're under the cut, let me know if you're somewhat interested and if I decide to sell them you'll be the first~

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[16 Feb 2009|01:46am]
I just had an awesome night... I went to Asylum with some of my friends and met a bunch of people while I was there. I randomly met alicelost13 [WHO IS TOTALLY ADORABLE!], a guy from godsgirls.com I've been talking to [that's porn kids...>_>;] and another guy. Oh and a gorgeous drag queen. I glued stars on my face [again!] and here's a picture before I start getting into the whiney stuff... XD

It sounds sort of depressing but I feel like just now I am learning that I actually have something to offer others.

and continue...Collapse )
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The Myth of Female Power : Sexuality [08 Feb 2009|09:48pm]

“Man fucks woman, subject verb object” – Catharine McKinnon

A few weekends ago I went to a very interesting birthday party. It was the joint 21st birthday party of three acquaintances. The theme was 'XXX', in other words you better dress sexy. The hostesses 'gift' was a female stripper. From her mother no less, [not that her mother was there but she did pay for her]. (I'm not sure if that's absolutely absurd or completely awesome?) I was having multiple thoughts watching this girl dance. It is bizarre that people literally pay $200 to watch a girl take her clothes off and writhe around. And not just MEN, there were plenty of women at this party, and it was the girl’s gift. And I wonder, am I supposed to like this? Do I NOT like it? How do the other women here feel? Is this oppression or is this celebration?

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Weeks later, I still can't figure this out for myself. And now I'm questioning my sexuality a lot. I don't know if what I like is really what *I* like, or if it's simply the by-product of an androcentric society. Bollocks!
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[16 Jan 2009|11:19am]
My job sucks. I'm applying for a census job but my testing date isn't for a month! Dammmmit. The pay starts out really well and I think it would be a lot of fun but I won't know for a month :\ I really want and need a new job. I feel that I am a lot better than that place. But not a lot of places are hiring and I don't feel like searching right now when I already have a somewhat steady job and I'm about to start school. [Edit: In OTHER WORDS. I am afraid and I am rationalizing. Lol.]

School is my main priority but money sure is nice!

I went to my first bar last night. It was interesting. It's weird knowing people are checking you out. Not really in a 'is she hot?' way, but more like a , 'who is that walking into the bar? LET'S LOOK AT THEM'.

And this might sound kind of whiney but I really can't figure out how attractive I am. Omfg my self-esteem sucks. I think I'm attractive but I don't KNOW I'm attractive. If that makes sense.

Anyway, my friend was mentioning 'openers' and I laughed because that's straight out of The Game. And then we lamented because there is no such thing as The Game for women. If there was such a thing as 'game' for women, I am very sure I do not have it.

It all boils down to fear for me, I am very fearful of um, everything.

I don't know how I got this way, but daaaamn it's annoying. I need to force myself to do things I am afraid of. But then I doubt that I can do it in the first place. It's a vicious cycle. Fucking a. I am making a big deal out of nothing. ajdnflkjdnfkjandgjkngjkn!

I'm going out the next three nights, maybe I won't act like a dumbass? And then school starts so I can actually put my mind onto something useful.

Oh nuts! I need a self esteem boost but that can only come from within but my within is saying 'fuck you' right now.
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ugh. [11 Jan 2009|07:45pm]
cut for rantCollapse )
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omgzz [05 Jan 2009|11:26am]
[ mood | chipper ]

I am in the english Gothic and Lolita Bible 4!!! That is so freaking cool!

Steven called me at work to tell me, I guess a friend of his saw it. I left work an hour early to go buy it ;_;


Ah fuck that is so cool, stuff like that rarely happens to me XD Like, never more like it! One day I'll have more than 2 inches :P Maybe even 5.

That was a really good start to my year. Even though I didn't really do anything to deserve it, that is still so cool. My arm looks le fat though. Omgwtfbbq.

school schedule n' stuffCollapse )

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[30 Dec 2008|12:17pm]
My birthday was Sunday, it was really fun. I went goth clubbing with some of my friends :D

It was a really good night too! No shitty music! Haaarr

This is an accurate depiction of my appearance the entire night...

Confused and drunk. Yep.

I was going to wear my Meta Swan Lake skirt but I decided against it because I knew I was going to get drunk and possibly ruin in. Which was a good choice because I did somehow get a hole in my tights...

Tomorrow night for NYE is going to hopefully be relaxing. I think I'm just going to hang out with a few friends and play video games. That sounds perfect right now [and I italicized it so you know I'm srs]. I was planning on going out but I'm feeling a bit sick and partied out at the moment. And my Mario Party awaits!

I got a bunch of books for Christmas n_n

Feminist Thought - Rosemarie Tung
Boundaries of Her Body - Debran Rowland*
The Myth of Male Power - Warren Farrell**
The Red Queen - Matt Ridley***

*This is not a 'BOOK', it's like a freaking textbook! But I'm really excited to start it

**Having a love hate relationship with this one already. Bloggings coming soon no doubt haaahaaa

***Just started this, I'm thinking I ought to read The Selfish Gene first but Ridley is easier for me to understand than Dawkins so we'll see!

Whooo I have a ton of reading to do!

Happy early new year :]
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New Years Resolutions [kinda nsfw?] [25 Dec 2008|09:08pm]
Another year another livejournal entry OMG I'M GOING TO CHANGE MY LIFE!! Right?

Except this year, I really am. :D

I want to change my habits and my attitudes toward my life.

This year there have been times where I have completely focused on myself, and there have been other times [during the end mainly] where I have focused on other people too much, and not disappointing them, not hurting them, etc.

I was happier when I was a little more selfish!

I also have let my work burn me into the ground. I can't keep this up. It's making me bitter and I really don't need the money, I just want it so I can buy foolish material items that I'll wear once or twice.

So! Resolutions!
1. Put self first
This means I'll be spending more time reading, going on adventures [alone :D], not worrying, working out, and indulging myself in the places where I want to be indulged.

So, I am going to not work as much, and I am only going to work the hours I want to work. Fuck money. I'm young and I don't want to be captivated by retail. Working for me is a sick drug. I will work 3 days a week-MAX. I am not going to work during the week.

I am going to take belly-dancing classes! I have wanted to do this forever!! I have just been too afraid to take them alone, see I'm always waiting for someone else to do something for me or with me out of fear, and that's some damn bullshit and enough of that. I need to be alone and do things alone and be okay with myself alone and in every situation.

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happy new year happy holidays praise jesus ♥
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Rori's!!! [19 Dec 2008|01:06pm]
I changed the meet-up time so please check the post out... Sorry for the late notice I've been working a lot and haven't been able to get online XD I changed it to 1, I seriously hope the rink is open. I'll probably check it out again today and call tomorrow morning >_>;

I REALLY want to go ice skating.

Equation is a really funny word.

Right anyhoo. I'm wearing the same thing I wore for Halloween, I haven't gotten any new clothes since then. Well except for the meta swan lake skirt, but I'm saving that for my birthday :D

I'm 21 in almost a week. Fuck yesssssss. I'm not doing anything specific for my bday, except goth club and lots of random drinking, but I am looking forward to it. Like, a lot. Not so much for the drinking aspect, but because clubs will be cheaper and I'll be able to go to a lot more places. Like Faces :D

I want to look extra awesome on my bday, I need to figure out another way to style my hair or something, I suck with that stuff.

Anyway, yes please check out the post!! I don't want anyone getting there at 12 and being alone x_x;
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So we're like, done again, I swear. [13 Dec 2008|12:16am]
I think I failed to mention this, but my ex and I got back together [more than just sex basically >_>;]. We were 'dating' but not 'in a relationship'. Now, however, we are _done_

It kinda seems like breakup central around here, is it the weather? [Seems like a lot of breakups on my FL lately...]

Anyway, I am completely okay. I will always miss the times we had but he is not right for me. Our relationship was kind of silly, there was no glue to it. Our first fight happened and then that was that. One of the main reasons I got back with him was to try and work things out, but then I realized some things you just can't work out. You can't change anyone after all, and that's really what I was trying to do... He's awfully stubborn. I do think that some change should happen in relationships, I think that's healthy, but he wouldn't even budge.

I could probably spend a few pages badmouthing him but that's it, I'm done. The last two months have been like a massive headache. Essentially I was pretending, and I cannot do that anymore.

this has nothing to do with the aboveCollapse )

Attn rori-friends: Meet-up. Must go. [RSVP]. Nao.
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Mild clarification.... [06 Dec 2008|12:09pm]
I feel like clarifying my last post. I didn't bother explaining things fully because I didn't think anyone on my FL would read it or have any interest in sociobiology.

Instead of just randomly talking about big boobs... I should had said that sociobiologists are trying to figure out why men like big breasts. Most everything in sociobiology is related to sex, the passing of the genes, etc. Reproduction!!! [yey?] Sociobiology attempts to explain human behavior through strict biology. I guess you could say it relates us to animals or something of the sort.

So yeah, they're trying to find a scientific reason as to why men are attracted to big breasts, and their theory is that you can tell a woman's age by her breasts. And if a woman is younger, she is more fertile, and therefore the man would be more attracted because she can yield better offspring...

I hope that makes more sense :o

Anyway, it was just posted in feminist_lit too! ~~> http://community.livejournal.com/feminist_lit/189527.html

I wonder how many women are in the field of sociobiology? I like it...I find it really interesting. If at times somewhat silly XD It's really humorous to read sociobiology books and notice how much is left out. If you're searching for true knowledge, why would you omit important facts? [This also happened in Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters when they were discussing Margaret Mead's research.]

Ugh, I could write about this forever.

Anyway, clarification post over! :]
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So am I like, a bitch? [04 Dec 2008|12:48pm]
Lately I've been trying to read positions that are the opposite of my own to better argue against them, or to educate myself, whichever. So I have been looking up sociobiology books and masculist papers...whatever I can find really. I bought the book Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters specifically to disagree with it. 15 bucks just to have some fun disagreeing :D It's opened me up to a lot of theories [like the Savannah Theory] but there has been plenty of illogical leaps I've found.

Probably the most ridiculous is how the 'gay gene' is spread. 'They posit that the so-called gay genes may incline their carriers, male or female, toward the same behavior: the desire to have sex with men.' They further go on to describe the 'horny sister hypothesis' by saying that female relatives of homosexual men have more children than female relatives of heterosexual men. You fucking kidding me? That is such a leap, I'm embarrassed to read it honestly. 'Birth control' seems to blare at me. Now if they had said maybe female relatives of homosexual men use less BC, I'd still think it was a load of crap-but maybe not quite as smelly.

No mention of female homosexuality of course, because women are inherently immoral. Duh.

b(.)(.)bsCollapse )

Completely unrelated to the rest of the entry [which I doubt most people will be interested in anyway], isn't this damn cute??


It kinda looks unlike me, but I tried it on and it was really cute :x I'm buying it as soon as I can pay off the rest of my crap! I got this jacket though - http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y62/bathroom_ninja/42091936-03.jpg

I really like it too XD Forever 21 is my lovechild....
4 comments|post comment

[05 Nov 2008|11:19pm]
I am having massive gender-identity issues right now and I am failing at life [and school].

Well, nothing's new I guess :D

I can't wait for the weekend, I have it off completely! YESSSS. I need rest, relaxation, and reading time super bad.

And regardless of how you feel about the election, you cannot deny that this is awesome;


Lol Hillary's my fave. And Biden kinda looks like my dad. Weird.
3 comments|post comment

Halloween! [01 Nov 2008|10:55pm]
This is the first Saturday I have spent at home in a VERY long time. It's wonderful and somewhat lonely all at once. Have I become a person that needs a lot of human interaction? Well, I was at work all day, I guess I got plenty :D Nonetheless, I'm feeling quite lonely. :[ I miss my ex. I miss who he was with me, he's been a dick lately. And yeah... I don't think I'm going to be sleeping with him anymore... It's not good for me. I'll put his needs above mine [not sexually...well, that too...>_>;] and it isn't good for me. I'm somewhat treating it as if we were together, even though we are not. I don't want to be around when he moves on. That is going to suck hardcore. I always used to think exes who didn't remain friends were selfish. I would say, if you really love someone, shouldn't you want to be around them and want what's best for them always? But now I see that that only leads to your own unhappiness. I almost want him to find another girl tomorrow and flaunt her so I can cry about it and then get over it. Rip that bandaid off right? I'm so green with relationships. I feel like I'm 12.

Beeeeh, whatever :] So the past week I've been in Lolita a lot, and it felt very nice. I like the structure that Lolita allows, and the attention. It's funny, people look, but rarely say anything, and it's always a quizzical look, like they're trying to figure it out. It's obviously a style most people haven't seen :D OH, Lolita gets me things too... I bought my boss lunch on Halloween and the guy gave me twice as much food....bwahahaha! He was pretty gothed out himself so I bet he thought we had a ~*~connection~*~ :3

Anyway, pictures from the past week;
I r preggers.
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