I am in the english Gothic and Lolita Bible 4!!! That is so freaking cool!

Steven called me at work to tell me, I guess a friend of his saw it. I left work an hour early to go buy it ;_;


Ah fuck that is so cool, stuff like that rarely happens to me XD Like, never more like it! One day I'll have more than 2 inches :P Maybe even 5.

That was a really good start to my year. Even though I didn't really do anything to deserve it, that is still so cool. My arm looks le fat though. Omgwtfbbq.

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    chipper chipper

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My birthday was Sunday, it was really fun. I went goth clubbing with some of my friends :D

It was a really good night too! No shitty music! Haaarr

This is an accurate depiction of my appearance the entire night...

Confused and drunk. Yep.

I was going to wear my Meta Swan Lake skirt but I decided against it because I knew I was going to get drunk and possibly ruin in. Which was a good choice because I did somehow get a hole in my tights...

Tomorrow night for NYE is going to hopefully be relaxing. I think I'm just going to hang out with a few friends and play video games. That sounds perfect right now [and I italicized it so you know I'm srs]. I was planning on going out but I'm feeling a bit sick and partied out at the moment. And my Mario Party awaits!

I got a bunch of books for Christmas n_n

Feminist Thought - Rosemarie Tung
Boundaries of Her Body - Debran Rowland*
The Myth of Male Power - Warren Farrell**
The Red Queen - Matt Ridley***

*This is not a 'BOOK', it's like a freaking textbook! But I'm really excited to start it

**Having a love hate relationship with this one already. Bloggings coming soon no doubt haaahaaa

***Just started this, I'm thinking I ought to read The Selfish Gene first but Ridley is easier for me to understand than Dawkins so we'll see!

Whooo I have a ton of reading to do!

Happy early new year :]

New Years Resolutions [kinda nsfw?]

Another year another livejournal entry OMG I'M GOING TO CHANGE MY LIFE!! Right?

Except this year, I really am. :D

I want to change my habits and my attitudes toward my life.

This year there have been times where I have completely focused on myself, and there have been other times [during the end mainly] where I have focused on other people too much, and not disappointing them, not hurting them, etc.

I was happier when I was a little more selfish!

I also have let my work burn me into the ground. I can't keep this up. It's making me bitter and I really don't need the money, I just want it so I can buy foolish material items that I'll wear once or twice.

So! Resolutions!
1. Put self first
This means I'll be spending more time reading, going on adventures [alone :D], not worrying, working out, and indulging myself in the places where I want to be indulged.

So, I am going to not work as much, and I am only going to work the hours I want to work. Fuck money. I'm young and I don't want to be captivated by retail. Working for me is a sick drug. I will work 3 days a week-MAX. I am not going to work during the week.

I am going to take belly-dancing classes! I have wanted to do this forever!! I have just been too afraid to take them alone, see I'm always waiting for someone else to do something for me or with me out of fear, and that's some damn bullshit and enough of that. I need to be alone and do things alone and be okay with myself alone and in every situation.

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happy new year happy holidays praise jesus ♥


I changed the meet-up time so please check the post out... Sorry for the late notice I've been working a lot and haven't been able to get online XD I changed it to 1, I seriously hope the rink is open. I'll probably check it out again today and call tomorrow morning >_>;

I REALLY want to go ice skating.

Equation is a really funny word.

Right anyhoo. I'm wearing the same thing I wore for Halloween, I haven't gotten any new clothes since then. Well except for the meta swan lake skirt, but I'm saving that for my birthday :D

I'm 21 in almost a week. Fuck yesssssss. I'm not doing anything specific for my bday, except goth club and lots of random drinking, but I am looking forward to it. Like, a lot. Not so much for the drinking aspect, but because clubs will be cheaper and I'll be able to go to a lot more places. Like Faces :D

I want to look extra awesome on my bday, I need to figure out another way to style my hair or something, I suck with that stuff.

Anyway, yes please check out the post!! I don't want anyone getting there at 12 and being alone x_x;
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    JES - Ghost

So we're like, done again, I swear.

I think I failed to mention this, but my ex and I got back together [more than just sex basically >_>;]. We were 'dating' but not 'in a relationship'. Now, however, we are _done_

It kinda seems like breakup central around here, is it the weather? [Seems like a lot of breakups on my FL lately...]

Anyway, I am completely okay. I will always miss the times we had but he is not right for me. Our relationship was kind of silly, there was no glue to it. Our first fight happened and then that was that. One of the main reasons I got back with him was to try and work things out, but then I realized some things you just can't work out. You can't change anyone after all, and that's really what I was trying to do... He's awfully stubborn. I do think that some change should happen in relationships, I think that's healthy, but he wouldn't even budge.

I could probably spend a few pages badmouthing him but that's it, I'm done. The last two months have been like a massive headache. Essentially I was pretending, and I cannot do that anymore.

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Attn rori-friends: Meet-up. Must go. [RSVP]. Nao.

Mild clarification....

I feel like clarifying my last post. I didn't bother explaining things fully because I didn't think anyone on my FL would read it or have any interest in sociobiology.

Instead of just randomly talking about big boobs... I should had said that sociobiologists are trying to figure out why men like big breasts. Most everything in sociobiology is related to sex, the passing of the genes, etc. Reproduction!!! [yey?] Sociobiology attempts to explain human behavior through strict biology. I guess you could say it relates us to animals or something of the sort.

So yeah, they're trying to find a scientific reason as to why men are attracted to big breasts, and their theory is that you can tell a woman's age by her breasts. And if a woman is younger, she is more fertile, and therefore the man would be more attracted because she can yield better offspring...

I hope that makes more sense :o

Anyway, it was just posted in feminist_lit too! ~~>

I wonder how many women are in the field of sociobiology? I like it...I find it really interesting. If at times somewhat silly XD It's really humorous to read sociobiology books and notice how much is left out. If you're searching for true knowledge, why would you omit important facts? [This also happened in Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters when they were discussing Margaret Mead's research.]

Ugh, I could write about this forever.

Anyway, clarification post over! :]

So am I like, a bitch?

Lately I've been trying to read positions that are the opposite of my own to better argue against them, or to educate myself, whichever. So I have been looking up sociobiology books and masculist papers...whatever I can find really. I bought the book Why Beautiful People Have More Daughters specifically to disagree with it. 15 bucks just to have some fun disagreeing :D It's opened me up to a lot of theories [like the Savannah Theory] but there has been plenty of illogical leaps I've found.

Probably the most ridiculous is how the 'gay gene' is spread. 'They posit that the so-called gay genes may incline their carriers, male or female, toward the same behavior: the desire to have sex with men.' They further go on to describe the 'horny sister hypothesis' by saying that female relatives of homosexual men have more children than female relatives of heterosexual men. You fucking kidding me? That is such a leap, I'm embarrassed to read it honestly. 'Birth control' seems to blare at me. Now if they had said maybe female relatives of homosexual men use less BC, I'd still think it was a load of crap-but maybe not quite as smelly.

No mention of female homosexuality of course, because women are inherently immoral. Duh.

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Completely unrelated to the rest of the entry [which I doubt most people will be interested in anyway], isn't this damn cute??


It kinda looks unlike me, but I tried it on and it was really cute :x I'm buying it as soon as I can pay off the rest of my crap! I got this jacket though -

I really like it too XD Forever 21 is my lovechild....

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I am having massive gender-identity issues right now and I am failing at life [and school].

Well, nothing's new I guess :D

I can't wait for the weekend, I have it off completely! YESSSS. I need rest, relaxation, and reading time super bad.

And regardless of how you feel about the election, you cannot deny that this is awesome;


Lol Hillary's my fave. And Biden kinda looks like my dad. Weird.


This is the first Saturday I have spent at home in a VERY long time. It's wonderful and somewhat lonely all at once. Have I become a person that needs a lot of human interaction? Well, I was at work all day, I guess I got plenty :D Nonetheless, I'm feeling quite lonely. :[ I miss my ex. I miss who he was with me, he's been a dick lately. And yeah... I don't think I'm going to be sleeping with him anymore... It's not good for me. I'll put his needs above mine [not sexually...well, that too...>_>;] and it isn't good for me. I'm somewhat treating it as if we were together, even though we are not. I don't want to be around when he moves on. That is going to suck hardcore. I always used to think exes who didn't remain friends were selfish. I would say, if you really love someone, shouldn't you want to be around them and want what's best for them always? But now I see that that only leads to your own unhappiness. I almost want him to find another girl tomorrow and flaunt her so I can cry about it and then get over it. Rip that bandaid off right? I'm so green with relationships. I feel like I'm 12.

Beeeeh, whatever :] So the past week I've been in Lolita a lot, and it felt very nice. I like the structure that Lolita allows, and the attention. It's funny, people look, but rarely say anything, and it's always a quizzical look, like they're trying to figure it out. It's obviously a style most people haven't seen :D OH, Lolita gets me things too... I bought my boss lunch on Halloween and the guy gave me twice as much food....bwahahaha! He was pretty gothed out himself so I bet he thought we had a ~*~connection~*~ :3

Anyway, pictures from the past week;
I r preggers.
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